DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social
progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the
sake of the
kids, but the whole of this latest election process
has made me
realize that I want a divorce.... I know we
tolerated each other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but
sadly, this
relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will
not ever agree
on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on
friendly terms.
We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go
our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country
by landmass each
taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult
part, but I am
sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy! Our respective
representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides
have such distinct
and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep
them. You are
welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since
you hate guns and
war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and
the military.
We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you
can go with
wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore and
Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for
finding a bio-
diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
lifelong welfare
dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies,
druggies and
illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey
moms, greedy CEO's
and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC
and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll
retain the right
to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You
can have the
peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our
way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are
welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and
Shirley McClain.
You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be
paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized
luxury cars. You
can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing
doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a
luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic
and the National
Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute
Imagine, I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the
World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can
continue to give
trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
history, our name and
our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it
along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you
do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting,
I'll bet you
Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15
years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn,
Martin Sheen,
Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English
when you call
our country

Yesterd